Thoughts on Rape Culture

I'm a bit late on this, what with the Steubenville issue having passed through a couple weeks ago. Now everything seems to be about abortion and Gosnell's trial. However, since I basically agree with what's being said there, I'm not going to go into it for now. Other people have done it better.

But on the subject of rape culture, I haven't seen anyone yet say quite what I want to say. Unfortunately, what I want to say will probably have a lot of people up in arms, given the kinds of things I've seen written about this issue recently. But please, bear with me until the end, and hopefully you'll understand what I'm trying to say.

There's been a lot of conversation recently about how our culture victimizes the rapists and blames the person who was raped. This is true, and it is a very wrong thing. We men are completely responsible for what we choose to do with our bodies (and to other people's bodies), and even for the thoughts that we entertain in our minds. (We can't stop a thought from appearing, but once we concede to it, then we are guilty of the sin.) But ladies: This does not mean that your choice of clothing is irrelevant. It is not a sin for you to wear "immodest" or "revealing" clothing, or, really, whatever kind of clothing you want. But is it always a good idea? Is it always loving?

We are each responsible for our own actions. A woman is not responsible for a man raping her simply because she was wearing a certain kind of clothing. It is his sin, not hers. If I think improper thoughts about a woman, it is my fault, my sin; but if I'm struggling with lust, my struggle is not always made easier by what the women around me are wearing.

Imagine that I struggle with gluttony instead. Is it loving to bring me really good and really unhealthy food every time you see me? It's completely my choice whether or not I eat the food, but if you already know that I struggle with eating too much, or eating the wrong kinds of things, then is it loving for you to continue to bring me food? Or would you not stop, because you care about me and want to make it easier for me to deal with my sin?

This is sort of how I see lust and the whole issue of rape culture, modesty, and the rest. Men are responsible for their own sins, for the thoughts in their hearts and for their actions towards others. But are you helping by the clothes you wear, or even by the actions you do, no matter the clothing? You ought to be free, strictly, to wear whatever you want. I don't want to be controlling your body in that respect. It isn't my decision what you wear; it's yours. But do you care about others? Do you love them, and want to help them in their struggles? Let me help you in yours; but please, help me in mine, too.